


Say

by sqwaaak



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 15:03:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sqwaaak/pseuds/sqwaaak
Summary: "I don't have anything to say."





	Say

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHA COMING BACK WITH A BANG HOW HAS EVERYBODY BEEN

3:42 PM  
_Hey. Can you meet me for dinner at 6 or so?_ _At our normal_ _place_ _._ _It's important._

3:45 PM  
_Minghao, I need to make the reservations within two hours, please answer._

3:46 PM  
_Minghao._

He vaguely heard the vibration of his phone on his desk, choosing ultimately to ignore the first one, assuming it wasn't of a pressing matter; it wasn't his work phone, so he didn't worry too much. Minghao tried to continue typing up his report, only for his phone to go off twice more in the span of minutes. So, maybe it was important, after all.

He wiped his hands (dusty from shrimp chips) on his pants, picking up the small device to see who had been reaching out to him in the first place. Three texts from his boyfriend, and with proper punctuation; they seemed angry, almost. It _was_ important, then. He opened the messages, humming in a small bit of confusion as he read them. Why was Junhui upset with him? It worried him a bit, and he thought about what he could have done to illicit such a response. He set out to type, trying to think of a response that wouldn't be any more upsetting.

3:51 PM  
sure, that's fine  
i might be just a little late, if that's okay

3:52 PM  
i'll ask my boss if i have to stay late

The short conversation sent him into a bit of a daze for the rest of his work day, and he was itching to get home so he could change into some normal clothes. The tie around his neck was stifling, constricting his neck to the point where he could barely breathe, in a metaphorical sense. In short, his anxiety was through the roof.

Minghao stayed later than he would've liked, which meant he had no time to drive home and change. He sat in his car for a few minutes outside his workplace, with his eyes closed and his head back. He was trying to calm himself down enough to drive. The tie mocked him from his passenger seat, and he unbuttoned his shirt a bit, taking a deep breathe before he finally started the ignition.

There was some radio show playing in the background as he drove, almost on autopilot, but he was too deep in his thoughts to care. He almost ran a red light, exhaling shakily as he slammed on the brakes, nodding in agreement when the driver behind him honked angrily. He needed to get a grip.

It wasn't too long a drive to get to their favorite restaurant, so he had barely any time to mentally prepare himself. The old familiar woman, whose husband ran the small place, smiled at him and led him back to the table he and his partner sat at nearly every time they were there. The thought left a light feeling in his stomach. They'd been together for so long, why was he worrying so much?

Junhui looked a bit frazzled as he picked at the corner of one of their menus. His hair was windswept, and he probably hadn't been sitting down for long. Had he walked over from work? He could've asked for a drive if he missed the bus.

His face relaxed a bit from the dazed focus Minghao found him in, and the younger man got greeted with a weak smile and a quick kiss as he sat across from his boyfriend. The chairs felt new, and he wondered if they had finally gotten new upholstery after who knows how many years of using the same, old ones and just putting more tape on them when a hole popped up.

The atmosphere around them was tense, and with it came the feelings of dread. Minghao didn't initiate any conversation until they were well into their meal, and his boyfriend looked about ready to burst. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly, taking the elder's hand as a show of support. He ran his thumb lightly over the knuckles, but didn't meet Jun's eyes.

The older man took his hand back slowly, folding them in front of himself and drumming on the table a couple of times. "Look, Minghao, I..." he trailed off, looking confused and at a loss for words. Frustrated, almost. It wad worrisome. "I don't know how to say this without it hurting you more than it'll hurt me."

Ice ran through his blood, and he felt glued to the spot. He was floating away and sinking at the same time, a surefire sign of a panic attack. His heart was picking up, tripping over itself as he waited for Junhui to continue. He said nothing, and neither did his boyfriend.

"We should break up." and then nothing. Neither of them really moved, and the heavy silence was so awkward it was nearly painful. Minghao couldn't see his face, but he assumed Jun lacked an expression, and so he didn't look up from his food. "Aren't you going to say something?" he asked, voice on edge as he waited for a reply. They'd been silent for probably five minutes.

Minghao slowly raised his eyes, and he was correct. The stony expression before him was extremely disheartening. "I don't..." he felt like he was about to choke, so he stopped, swallowing. "I don't know what you want me to say." he spoke slowly, to keep his voice steady, so he wouldn't start crying.

" _Anything,_ Minghao. I don't care," he started, sighing tersely. "Yell at me, tell me you hate me, ask me why. Don't just _sit_ there." he was obviously uncomfortable. Who wouldn't be? Breakups are tough, hard for every party involved, directly so or not. "Minghao, _please._ "

His thoughts were jumbling, everything bounding around his head like it was some sort of trampoline, and he was starting to shake, badly. He couldn't let himself get any worse. "I... Jun, I..." he could barely articulate, tears pooling in his eyes as the situation really sunk in. "I don't _have_ anything to say," the tremors in his voice were too obvious to be played off, so he let his tears fall. "I don't even know what you _want_ from me." he tried to stand, but he was shaking too hard, so he just buried his head in his hands and cried.

**Author's Note:**

> comment or i swear to god ill cry


End file.
